New Orleans Local Provides Music Lessons

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Ever watched someone play the guitar and thought, “Wow, that’s cool.  I want to learn how to do that!”  Well with the help of New Orleans Music Lesson’s instructor, David Putnam, you can.  He offers instruction on how to play guitar, banjo, ukelele, piano, bass and drums.

Putnam has taught music for over 10 years.  He received a B.F. A. in Jazz Studies with an emphasis in guitar where he studied under greats such as Hank Mackie, Brian Seeger and Steve Masakowski.

Aside from teaching, Putnam also plays guitar for the soul band Eudora and Deep Soul.  He bounces around sometimes and jams with other bands, solo or with the Honduran Latino group Garison.  He’s possessed by music and his love shines through in his teaching.

Putnam has passed on the power of music to a variety of students from children to 70-year olds.  He’s educated these students on the styles that have helped to develop music over the years: rock, blues, Latino, big band, bluegrass and jazz.

His students speak very fondly of their experiences with Putnam’s music lessons.  One testimonial from a high school student on his website states, “David is a natural teacher and knows how to advance a student without overloading him or, in a case that has become prevalent in music education, diminish the student’s interest in the music itself.”

A Peace Corps volunteer says, “[Putnam’s] love of music and of teaching are plainly evident, and I sincerely hope that you will give David the opportunity to share his passion with you.”

Putnam’s website, neworleansmusiclessons.com, features even more testimonials from satisfied students and information about lessons such as pricing.

Top 10 Greatest Times and Places to be Alive for Unbelievably Great Music.

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This Summer, I drove 4,200 miles by myself across the United States to New Orleans over two weeks. Lots of cigarettes, and lots of music accompanied by grand scenery. The mission: to finally conjure up an appreciation and understanding of jazz. The mission failed. So I stuck with the classics.

I drove through cities like Seattle and San Francisco, both home to tremendous musical revolutions in the last century. The thought occurred to me that, due in part to the internet age, the days of regional music revolutions are all over. As a disenchanted generation RX-er living in the glorified past, I compiled a list of ten time periods in ten places that would be a great time to be a part of for any music lover. The list is not subjective. In fact it is grossly, grossly biased. If you listen to some of the audio files, you might find some old gems that you never knew existed, and you can join me in lamenting the present and dreading the future of music.

Note: I’ve included lots and lots of audio samples in this feature, but I’m having technical difficulties uploading them to NOLAfreepress. If you are interested in hearing them, I created a web page devoted solely to the music of the artists from this list. Check out the songs, because without them, these are just words. I would suggest listening to them loud. Here is the link: spkovach.wordpress.com

#1: Seattle, Washington. 1989-1994

I am biased, because I consider myself to be a native of this town. I have personally experienced the nightmarish depression that comes with day after day of fog and rain. I have spent nights in attics smoking pot and listening to Nirvana, complaining about the emptiness of existence. I still wear flannel regularly.

I credit the Internet with destroying regional musical revolutions, and I believe this was the last true music revolution in our country. And it was a good one.

Clinton was president, the economy was booming, and middle-class white people were extremely angry about having nothing to be angry about. In one year, the city produced four of the most dominating American groups of the decade: Nirvana, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, and Pearl Jam. Beyond the four heavy hitters were dozens of bands that are still followed in a cultish fashion today. The Melvins, Screaming Trees, Mad Season, Temple of the Dog, and many more. Down South in Oregon, there were the Dandy Warhols and Pavement.

Like any beautiful cultural movement, it was soon exploited by the media and the real rockers either swallowed a 12 gauge shotgun shell, or quit and started bands like the Foo Fighters and Audioslave. What ensued was a nation-wide array of watered down, radio friendly “post-grunge”. What goes up must come down. Kurt Cobain shot himself in 1994, and Layne Staley, the front man for Alice in Chains, was found dead of a heroin overdose in his Seattle apartment. When they went, grunge went with them.

I feel I must give honorable mention to a few groups who should not be excluded from this list purely on the basis that they aren’t from Seattle. #1 being the Smashing Pumpkins out of Chicago. The Pumpkins are my second favorite band of all time and the best band of the 90′s, without question. What was once a great band is now a 43 year old bald man making terrible records, wearing white leather outfits, and dating Jessica Simpson. It is as if the world is trying, literally trying, to crush every ounce of hope that I might have remaining. Still, to leave them out of the list is simply not an option. Also, Sonic Youth, Blind Melon, Janes Addiction, and the Pixies should not be left out.

#2: Manchester, England. 1988-1995

Manchester in the early 90′s was Europe’s answer to Seattle. The city had been home to two of Britain’s most important groups of the 80′s, Joy Division and The Smiths (as well as the Morrissey’s ensuing solo career). At the end of the 80′s, Manchester exploded as the ecstasy capital of England, and quickly earned the nickname “Madchester”. As a general rule, rampant substance abuse directly translates into spectacular art, and Madchester was no exception. Bands like The Stone Roses, Pulp, and the Happy Monday’s dominated, and the scene was centered around the notorious Hacienda night club. New Order, The Charlatans, Inspiral Carpets, and Simply Red were all fixtures of the Madchester scene.Oasis

When the ecstasy years of Madchester period came to an end, Manchester switched back to cocaine and produced the biggest band of the decade: Oasis. Oasis was big in the states, but it is nothing compared to their popularity all over Europe. They were accompanied by The Chemical Brothers, Blur, and the Verve.

A thrilling time for Manchester, the 90′s were a stellar time throughout the rest of the Isle as well. For ten years, skinny white kids with emotional problems ruled the world. “Shoegaze” is an English musical phenomenon that has sadly been annexed by modern hipsters, but it doesn’t mean the music was any less-amazing. Ride, My Bloody Valentine, Chapterhouse, Slowdive, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Lush were the biggest shoegaze groups out of Britain. Why called shoegaze? It was full on drone-rock with heavy screeching guitars and fuzz effects, and got it’s name by the bands  spacing out and staring at their shoes onstage. These bands directly influenced the noise rock happening stateside, most notably Sonic Youth.

#3: New York, New York. 1990-1995.

As a pre-pubescent punk living in Seattle, I pledged I would be a Rock and Roller until the day I died, and was quick to dismiss any other mainstream genre as “conformist”, particularly when it came to the hip hop that dominated MTV. Then came the day where hip hop hit me like a freight train and changed me forever. From 88′ to 94′, all five boroughs exploded and invented the musical expression that still dominates today. Just like what was going on in Seattle at the same time, it is hard to believe that so much incredible music came out of one city. I don’t think anyone can clearly define what makes “good” hip hop and what makes bad hip hop. For me, it’s all about the feeling you get when it hits. I do know that a lot of the rap coming out of New York in the 90′s was good, because when I listen to it, it makes me want to kill myself. It’s that good.

KRS-one, Run DMC, MC Shan all paved the way in the 80′s, but hip hop, for me at least, didn’t really hit it’s stride until 1990 with rappers like Nas, A Tribe Called Quest, Kool G Rap, De La Soul, Pete Rock, Wu Tang Clan…. the list goes on forever. It certainly would have been cool to be a part of the New York scene. Most of the early rappers were killed or sold out, but the grittiness of their early raps lives on.

#4: San Francisco, California. 1965-1969.

Before San Francisco turned into a overpriced yuppie waste-land full of wine & cheese shops, it spawned (arguably) one of the most important cultural revolutions of our country’s history. And I’m not just talking about the music. There was also lots of sex and drugs. And some political stuff too, I guess.

A day in the life of a Frisco kid 1966: take LSD in Golden Gate Park and watch the Grateful Dead and Jefferson Airplane play four-hour jazz fusion jams, and then walk down to City Lights Bookstore and hang out with Burroughs and  Ginsberg. The city was home to one of the greatest festivals of the 60′s, the Monterey Pop festival which featured a glorious scene in which Jimi Hendrix lit his guitar on fire in front of half a million spectators.

The city also held a free concert which, to me, would personify the end of the 60′s; the Rolling Stones at Altamont Speedway. The show ended when a group of Hells Angel’s, whom the Stones hired as security, murdered two  members of the crowd. Smack dab in the middle of “Sympathy for the Devil”.

If you go to the Haight Ashbury neighborhood today, it’s just depressing. Balding hippies lamenting the present, stuck in the 60′s with acid fried minds. But for a few years in the 60′s, San Francisco was perhaps the coolest place on the planet.

#5: London, England. 1964-1974.
Notice it is London. Not Liverpool. That’s right. Amurrica invented Rock and Roll, and if anyone says otherwise it is within your divine right to punch them in the face. But the Brits took something we started and put their own spin on it, and the results were none less than astounding.

The English carried out the long-standing tradition of stealing the work of poor black men and making millions off it, particularly from bluesmen like Robert Johnson, Howlin’ Wolf, and Muddy Waters. The Stones, The Yardbirds, Eric Clapton, Led Zeppelin, Cream, and The Animals were all guilty of this; but I think we’ve forgiven them.

In the mid 60′s we had the British Invasion, featuring groups like the Kinks, The Beatles, The Faces, and so on. But English rock didn’t end with the invasion; some might say it got even better. Towards the end of the decade, psychedelic rock hit it’s stride with bands like Pink Floyd, Donovan (an English version of Bob Dylan), Status Quo, and Traffic. Around 1970, glam rockers like David Bowie found the spot light. If you can’t find anything else to give the Brits credit, at least show some respect for David Bowie.

#6: Detroit, Michigan. 1955-1965.

Pretty obvious, yes. This list is labeled as ten great places and times to be alive to hear great music. This one might be an exception, because any one who has been to Detroit knows that there are far better places to be. Maybe the music coming out of Motor town was a result of the harsh and unforgiving economic and cultural climate.

Motown played an important role in the racial integration of pop music, as it was the first record label owned by an African American to primarily feature black artists who achieved substantial success. In the 1960s, Motown and its soul-based subsidiaries were the most successful proponents of what came to be known as The Motown Sound, a style of soul music with a distinct pop influence.

The laundry list of spectacular artists to come out of Detroit is flat-out astonishing. Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Diana Ross and the Supremes, the Jackson Five, The Temptations, The Four Tops…. the list goes on forever.

#7: The Mississippi Delta. 1940-1960.
Just like Detroit, in reality, the Delta actually would not be a great place to be young and in love with music, as the title of this list suggests. The music to come out of the delta was a result of complete poverty, racism, and just a poor quality of life all together. But a few of the poor men living here played their guitars in a way that would single-handedly usher in Rock and Roll as we know it. We owe Rock and Roll to them. We owe contemporary blues to them. We owe soul and hip hop to them. These guys paved the path for everything great in American music. It makes me proud to live in New Orleans, which is a city that allowed these musicians to show off their talents in a place where people of all races would listen.
#8: New Orleans, Atlanta, Houston. 1996-2002.

When the legitimacy of New York Hip Hop came to an end (thank you, Puff Daddy), all ears went out west to L.A. I am of the opinion that L.A hip hop is trash, but I won’t get into it here as I fear arousing another coastal rap feud, of which I would definitely end up inside a mattress. The exception is 2pac, who is resting in crazy peace, no doubt.

There were a lot of hip hop fans who were so disappointed with purity of hip hop plummeting, and they all started underground groups around the country. These underground rappers were of the opinion that is okay for the music to lack balls and passion, so long as they used large words and constantly rapped about how intellectual they are. This all disgusted me. I found solace in down South dirty rap. There’s always something to be said for music that comes from the heart, from those who speak only what they know and try to be nothing else. The legends of the South like UGK and Juvenile did this in spades.
Standard underground verse:
“I am really smart, listen to the clever words that I use, and pay attention to the complex layered rhyme scheme. I’m definitely way smarter than the whack MC’s. Do you see how smart I am? I am now going to make an obscure biblical reference to give my rhymes some depth”.
Standard dirty south verse:
“When I am not snorting cocaine and smoking weed in my wood-wheel Cadillac, I am f***ing many women. I also enjoy shooting people. I just kill so many people.”

I also have to admit, that part of the reason I like that really, I mean really dirty South rap is because it’s just so ridiculous that it’s funny. Ying Yang twins are an example of a group that falls into this category.

#9: The Heartland. 1970-1980.

Not a lot of logic went in to this one. Based on hundreds of “Dazed and Confused” viewings, I can only assume that to be in High School in Middle America in the mid 70′s is the greatest thing ever. Nothing really was going on politically, and people seemed to have all the time in the world to get high and listen to Aerosmith. So #9 is devoted to the music that rocked the Heartland in the 70′s. Lots of Rock and Roll sung by mustached men, and lots of folk sung by Canadians named Neil.

#10: Memphis, Tennessee. 1957-1967.

In hindsight, this should be moved much higher on the list. Like New York hip hop, the soul music coming out of Memphis created that same feeling where I wanted to kill myself (in a good way) when listening to it. The Memphis scene took off with the start of Stax Records. The Memphis sound was that of Soul and R&B, in contrast to the Motown coming out of Detroit. There was Elvis, of course, and some country singers, but the rest of the Memphis scene was all about Soul. The list, like Motown, is just ridiculous. Otis Redding, Sam and Dave, Booker T and the MG’s, Wison Picket, and so on. There is one underrated person involved in the Memphis scene who, in my opinion, made it great. Steve Cropper, the guitarist from Booker T and the MG’s, is one of the greatest guitar players that ever lived, and played on the majority of Stax singles. I’m a guitar player myself, and he was the person who inspired me to first pick up a Fender Telecaster.

Sometimes when musicians die in a tragic way, they reach a degree of fame that, well, they maybe don’t deserve. Think Kurt Cobain. One exception to this is Otis Redding; Otis deserves every ounce of credit he gets, and then some. I’ve never heard anyone with such a soulful voice in my life. A great example of this, cliche as it is, is 1:25 minutes into “Dock of the Bay”; his voice cracks in the most magnificent way that it makes your loins quiver with ecstasy. It’s just that good.

Travel Idea for the Holidays: A Wintertime European Adventure

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The holiday season is upon us and, regardless of creed, it is a time where people around the nation feel obligated to spend quality time with extended family. If you are part of this group, I offer my condolences. If you’re lucky enough to find yourself without commitments during the holidays, why not take the Euro adventure you’ve always dreamed about?

Sell the car, sell the kids, quit your job, drop out of school — do what you have to do. Buy a cheap backpack and a two-month Eurail pass and hit the road. Go with a friend or go it alone; it doesn’t matter. It seems daunting, but when your journey is through it’s highly unlikely you’ll have any regrets.

The great part about traveling Europe in the winter time:

- The drastically less number of tourists. It’s much easier to get a more authentic feel for a country when it’s not teeming with fanny packs and camera-wielding Aussies.
- It’s a scientific fact that snow makes everything look 70% prettier.
- Everything is considerably cheaper; from train tickets to restaurants to hostels.
-When you’re hitch-hiking through Poland in two feet of snow at midnight, you simply can’t help but feel like a rugged vagabonding badass.

The not-so-great part about traveling Europe in the winter time:

-It gets cold. Very, very cold.
-In some places, especially in the North, the sunlight is limited. If you are like me, though, and detest sunshine and thrive in darkness, this is not much of a drawback.

I’ve constructed a sample-itinerary of what I would consider to be a great winter-time romp through Europe. The itinerary is extremely biased, and is not for people afraid of long night train/bus rides, questionable personal safety, and being a place where no one speaks the same language as you.

If your up for it, throw a couple changes of clothes into a backpack and get on an airplane. When you first find yourself alone in a very foreign land, you might ask yourself: “what the hell am I doing here?” You’ll consider turning around and going home. Don’t do it. Embrace the unknown, forget your comfort zone, and tell yourself that the world is made for you, so go outside and see what’s yours (to quote Iggy Pop). 

Lisbon, Portugal

For reasons I can’t understand, flights state-side to Lisbon are very cheap. Fly in to Lisbon where you can experience some reasonably nice weather before you head North. The city boasts a streetcar that resembles our own beloved in New Orleans. Take advantage of the thriving fishing industry with some fresh seafood at a cafe overlooking the Atlantic. As a fish/fishing enthusiast, I particularly enjoy how the Portuguese serve their fish; head, eyes, fins, bones and all. And a fork.

The Portuguese have always had an eye for adventure (and global domination); it’s not a coincidence that half of South America speaks Portuguese. Let this globe-trotting mentality overcome and inspire you as you spend a few days wandering the cobble-stone streets of the old-town, visiting the museums, and hanging with the locals. If your brave enough, you can even take a dip in the ocean.

The hilltop district of Bairro Alto is definitely worth a visit, with dozens of restaurants and bars line the narrow streets. Jazz, reggae, electronica and fado fills the air with revelers partying well into dawn. Nightclubs scattered all over town make use of abandoned warehouses and seaside docks.

When I was in Lisbon, I stayed in the best hostel I’ve ever seen for 14 USD a night, including breakfast. Lisbon is a cheap city, so have fun. Watch the sun set from the old Moorish Castle, and take the 10 hour night train to…

Barcelona, Spain

It’s virtually impossible to not have a good time in Barcelona. When you find a hostel, make as many friends as you can and head to the main street, “Las Ramblas”, which serves as a Spanish version of our own Bourbon Street, but perhaps even sleazier. Drink Sangria at one of the many pubs, listen to some flamenco music, and try to avoid the swarming pick pockets and prostitutes.

During the day, visit the famous La Sagrada Familia, built by Gaudi, and see the rest of his artwork strewn throughout the city. The Costa Brava coastline is a spectacle in itself, and if it’s warm enough, is worth a day hanging out on and drinking the local brew “Estrella Damm” on the sandy beaches.

The heart of Catalonia, the locals identity more with their Catalonian heritage than their Spanish, and it will quickly become obvious if you bring it up. The dialect is very different, and there is even a considerable movement towards Catalan independence from the rest of Spain. It’s a bit of a touchy subject, though.

There are heaps of art museums to keep you occupied during the days, and the nightlife in Barcelona is legendary. A bit more subdued than in the summer months, the bars are still reasonably hopping; only with less tourists.

Barcelona is a tourist city, which means there are plenty of hostels, which mean they compete for the cheapest rate, which is good for people like you and me. After a few days, take the metro to the Central Station and hop on a train North-bound to France.

Paris, France

With my staunch anti-French stance, it pains me to include Paris, the belly of the beast, onto this itinerary. But a European trip without seeing Paris seems just wrong. The city of Paris is soul-shatteringly beautiful, and throw in some snow and you’ll feel like your in a French noir film.

Check out the Louvre, walk along the Siene river, people-watch at one of the many cafe’s. There is not a more romantic place than Paris when it snows; if you are traveling with a boyfriend or girlfriend, practice caution; it’s not uncommon for a Parisian night to turn into a marriage proposal. If your single, go ask out the first girl/guy you see — a one-night romance in Paris is something you’ll remember for the rest of your life. If/when they reject you, a lonely night of walking Parisian streets with your headphones is also something you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Either way, you win.

When in Paris, attempt to learn as much French as you can. Should you attempt to converse with a local in English, they will either ignore you, kick you, or verbally taunt and insult you ala the French in Monty Python’s “The Holy Grail”. They say that beneath the Frenchmen’s tough exterior is a kind and generous breed. I’ll leave that up to you to decide. After you get tired of the city of baguettes and berets, head East to the city of beer and bosoms.

Munich, Germany

Nestled in the heart of Bavaria, Munich is a winter wonderland fit for a Disney movie. Compared to the rest of Germany, Munich is a bit on the expensive side, but the myriad of activities and the overall feel of the city in December is well worth it. Germany is decades ahead of us in their schooling, which means that many of the locals speak better English than your next door neighbor, making it very easy to communicate with the locals. In my experience, Germans are generally some of the nicest, most welcoming people you will ever meet. The rest of Deutschland seems to think that Bavarians are more “cold” than the rest, but this isn’t something I’ve ever noticed.

Munich has something for everyone. For the history buff, it doesn’t get much better, especially for those interested in WWII. Munich was where Adolf Hitler delivered his first speech (in a very famous beerhall). Afterwards, he was consequently imprisoned where he wrote “Mein Kampf”. Though not very Christmas-y, Munich offers a glimpse into our planets darker history. The first concentration camp of Nazi Germany, Dachau, is a 20 minute train ride away and is a great idea for a day trip. It’s not “fun” in any sense, but it serves as a reminder of what we have to be thankful for.

On a more positive note, the city boasts three Christmas Gardens where you can walk around, sip hot wine, and visit the stands owned by local merchants. Like Paris, this can make for a very romantic evening.

For the auto-enthusiast, Munich has the BMW and Mercedes Benz museums, which are both certainly worth checking out.

For the hop-friendly travelers, Munich is Heaven — The city is probably most famous for it’s massive beer-halls. Having personally frequented these halls-of-beer, I consider them among the happiest places on earth. Hundreds of Germans and foreigners alike dance on tables and drink steins of the best beer in the world, served by heaving-bosomed Fraulein’s.

The famous Munich beer, Augistiner, is brewed by monks out in the mountains, and contains only four ingredients; unlike American beer which has up to 200 additives. What does this mean? It means you can get as drunk as humanly possible, and the hangover will be very mild. Not saying you should… but you could.

Drink more, go skiing in the alps, or do both. When your battered mind and body recover, hop on the Deutschebahn and head North. Unlike Portugal and Spain, you’ll find that German trains run on schedule to the point of absurdity; everything seems to run like clockwork. The Germans are known for their efficiency and engineering, and their trains are no exceptions. Look out the window at the German countryside as you enjoy the six hour train to Berlin.

Berlin, Germany

For the sake of full disclosure, I must make a confession: I am heavily biased when it comes to Berlin. Most notably because I was born there. Aside from that, it is of my opinion that Berlin is the greatest city on the planet. Why is Berlin so great? I’ll tell you.

For starters, there is not a better place to party in Europe. Forget Amsterdam, forget the ecstasy foam-clubs of Ibiza; Berlin is where it’s at. If your a fan of techno music, you will feel that you’ve died and gone to heaven. There are hole-in-the-wall music venues all over; though most are found in the neighborhood called Kreuzberg.

Another great thing about the city is the price; everything is cheap as hell. Artists and musicians flock to Berlin for the thriving art scene, and the extremely affordable rent. 1/3 of the population in Berlin are Turkish immigrants. In fact, Berlin is the second biggest “Turkish” city in the world, right behind Istanbul. Because of this, there are kebab stands everywhere. If you don’t know what kebabs or ‘Doners’ are, you will quickly find out. For me, they were the staple in my diet for many months.

The beer is incredibly cheap in Berlin as well. You walk into a store and buy one bottle for 50 cents or so, and the cashier will pop the top for you. It’s legal to drink in public in Berlin, and it’s not uncommon to get on the U-Bahn (the subway) and everyone has a beer in their hand. It’s not because they’re alcoholics; Germans just enjoy their beer. There is very little stigma when it comes to drinking.

Obviously, the history in Berlin is very recent and very in-your-face. When I was two years old, they tore down the wall separating East Berlin with West, and consequently caused East-West German unification. The East Side gallery is a section of the wall still standing, where street artists have turned it into a beautiful mural. Berlin is known for it’s artists, and the entire city is covered in graffiti. Unlike the U.S, the city embraces this rogue art-form and it’s become one of the central attractions. There’s never enough time to get in to Berlin, and it seems like ever day spent there is better than the previous. But alas, you have new places to see; so head to the Hauptbahnoff and board a train to Copenhagen.

Copenhagen, Denmark

If you are like me at all and hate sunlight and thrive in darkness, than the Northern city of Copenhagen is for you. Unfortunately, the CPH takes the award for most expensive destination on this itinerary; a latte at a coffeehouse could very well cost you 8 USD. So when you’re here, be smart with your Kronas. If you are looking for an earthy, hardcore travel experienchttp://spkovach.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/copenhagen1.jpge look elsewhere. Copenhagen is clean, safe, and ridiculously easy to get to know. The locals all speak superb English and the transport system makes London’s look like it’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

There are free bicycles all around the city that are rented out with the honor system, and it seems to actually work (try that in New Orleans). Cycling is a good way to get around, and the entire Danish population seems to feel the same way; I’ve never seen so many bikes in my life. Spend one day hanging out in Christiana, which is a small neighborhood that acts as one giant hippie commune; lots and lots of drugs, lots of people squatting in abandoned warehouses, etc etc. The police enjoy raiding Christiana at least once every week, so if you’re lucky you can witness a Danish swat team carrying out a good old fashion hippie ass-whomping.

Here is a fact: Copenhagen is home to the most beautiful women on the planet. I’m told it is the same way with the men, but I can’t confirm this. I don’t mean to come across as shallow by focusing on the physical looks of the locals, but in the case of Denmark it is simply ridiculous. Walk two blocks down a main city street and your head will start to hurt. Perhaps the most terrifying part of all is that, in most cases, the women will actually speak to you. For an American guy accustomed to ego-crushing rejection, this can be quite jarring.

So enjoy your days in Copenhagen and try not to fall in love or spend all your money. Hop on one of their painfully orderly trains and head North to Sweden.

Stockholm, Sweden

Like Copenhagen, Stockholm offers a glimpse into a Socialist utopia, and might cause you to stop and wonder what the Tea Party is so afraid of. It’s a bit strange to walk the streets of a major global city and see no homeless; if someone is living on the street in Stockholm, it is because they are choosing to. The government provides an apartment for everyone. Drugs are mainly legal, and heroin addicts are given free rehab instead of prison time. University is totally free for everyone, and the government pays (PAYS!) for an apartment and food expenditures for all students. Everything is very clean, public transport is efficient and affordable, and there is virtually no violent crime. The public schools are of very high quality, and most citizens are fluent in more than two languages.

How is all this possible? In Sweden, when start your career, up to 75% of your total income goes to welfare taxes. From talking to the Swedes I’ve met, it seems they don’t mind paying this heavy taxation; there is a “collective conscience” of sorts. Maybe Socialism wouldn’t work in America, but still it is interesting to see a Socialist nation in action.

Unfortunately, Sweden is pretty-much just as expensive as Denmark, so your budget will take a hit. Word of advice: don’t drink alcohol in Stockholm. Just don’t do it. For one thing, a beer in a club might cost you ten dollars. To add insult to injury, the government regulates the alcohol-percentage of beer, and it never rises above 3.5%. This is a measure to combat the high percentage of alcoholism in Sweden, caused mainly by the depression from lack of sunlight.

Spend a few days roaming Stockholm’s eight islands and wandering about Gamlastan, the old town. When you’re ready to leave, walk around the harbor and get on “The Viking Line”; a massive freighter ship that takes nightly voyages to Helsinki, Tallinn, and Saint Petersburg, Russia. Choose the latter. I did the same trip, and using my Eurail pass the 16 hour boat ride to Russia cost me 25 American dollars.

Note: This^ boat ride can very possibly serve as one of those “badass” moments I discussed in the introduction. I once smoked cigarettes and drank Vodka on the deck with a group of Swedish Hells Angels (I swear), as the railing froze solid and the massive icy Baltic waves sprayed us turning our hair to ice. At this point, you’re no longer the person you were before you left home.

Saint Petersburg, Russia

Warning: St. Petersburg can be gritty, and you honestly should practice a degree of caution when walking the streets. If after dark, avoid walking alone. Go easy on the Vodka, and make sure the price that merchants give you is the standard price, and that they aren’t gouging you.

This isn’t meant to scare any potential visitors; I’m half Russian by blood and I love the country and it’s people. The only time I’ve ever been in a very dangerous situation (outside of the U.S, that is) was in Moscow when I was robbed by Mafia thugs. Word of wisdom; if a massive bouncer outside a nightclub kindly offers to walk you to an ATM, simply say “no” and run away.

Saint Petersburg was home to some of greatest writers the world has ever scene. Some even say that Leo Tolstoy was the best novelist of all time. Also, Ayn Rand and Fyodr Doestevsky hail from Saint Petersburg. It’s not hard to see why the city spawned such talent; it’s an incredibly inspiring place to be.

The Winter Palace and the Hermitage are definitely the two must-see sites of the city, but make sure to set aside one night to walk around and look at the various bridges.

The Russians are known for looking tough and hardened and unfriendly, and I’ve found this to be true. However, I’ve also found that the most hardened, world weary looking- dudes were some of the nicest and warmest people, so don’t judge a book by it’s cover in Russia.

Be careful of the women, because they will make a mess out of you. Russian women are terrifyingly beautiful. So beautiful that sometimes they cause you to briefly forget your own name and suffer a minor stroke. Use caution.

Note: Russia requires a visotors visa for all tourists, including Americans. They cost about 50 USD and should be arranged beforehand. Don’t try to enter without a visa, as I hear the KGB aren’t the friendliest bunch.

Warsaw, Poland

If you find yourself with the time, I would strongly suggest spending a few days in the Baltic states; Latvia, Estonia, and Lithuania before you hit Poland. The cities are incredibly unique and often times there are no tourists in sight. My personal favorite is Tallinn, Estonia. Trains don’t really exist in this part of the continent, so you are looking at spending many, many hours on crowded freezing buses.

When travelers hit Poland, they generally skip Warsaw and instead visit the much cleaner Krakow, located in the South. I don’t understand this. Warsaw is one of the more interesting places I’ve been, especially in regards to the attitude of the locals, and the overall “feel” of the city. The hundreds upon hundreds years of hardship, oppression, and invasion give Warsaw a slightly sad and beat-down feel. The locals are tough and resilient. At first glance, it can come across as a cold, unwelcoming, and maybe even hostile place; give it a few days. Take a stroll through Warsaw’s pristine Old Town and Royal Castle and you’d think the city had enjoyed a comfortable existence the past 200 years. But at the end of WWII they, and nearly the entire metropolis, lay in rubble and ruin. The fact that the Poles picked themselves up and rebuilt almost everything is reason enough to pay the country’s capital a visit. People from New Orleans might have a more unique respect for this re-built city.

Believe it or not, the night life in Warsaw reminds me a bit of New Orleans. I met some Polish students and they took me past block after block of Soviet block housing, and finally we reached this block of seemingly abandoned buildings that looked fit for torture chambers. When we went inside, we were in the middle of a Polish reggae party. The building itself was decaying and no one seemed to care. Never in my life have I been to such a welcoming, fun, and flat-out ‘happy’ club in my life. The attitude reminded me of New Orleans.

Say your goodbyes and get on a train to Krakow.

Note: Your Eurail pass does not work in Poland. Should you choose to try it anyways, you may be thrown off in middle-of-nowhere Poland. So maybe just pay for the train ticket.

Krakow, Poland

When you hit Krakow, you’re back on the tourist track. There are at least twenty affordable and fun youth hostels in the city, and you will find yourself surrounded by the ever-present drunk Aussie backpackers. Yet still, there is a lot to do in Krakow. Kraków celebrated its 750th birthday in 2007, is by far Polands biggest attraction, and when you are there it  immediately becomes apparent why. As the royal capital for 500 years, the city was able to absorb much history and talent over the centuries and is today mix of Gothic and Renaissance architecture. Miraculously, Krakow managed to emerge largely intact and undamaged after WWII.

Take a short train ride to nearby Auschwitz and once again be reminded of how fortunate you are. Take a tour of the salt mines. Wawel Castle is Kraków’s centrepiece and a must-see, but most visitors will find themselves drawn to the Old Town, with its soaring Gothic churches and gargantuan Rynek Główny (Main Market Sq), the largest in the nation. Just outside the Old Town lies the former Jewish quarter Kazimierz, its silent synagogues reflecting the tragedy of the recent past.

Give yourself at least several days or even a full week to give Kraków justice. This is not a place to rush through; the longer you stay, the more captivating you’ll find it. And without even trying, you’ll discover something pretty old and cool around every street corner.

Prague, Czech Republic

Admittedly overrated, go now before it gets completely overrun by obnoxious American students and drunken Aussies. Though over-hyped, I can honestly say that Prague’s old town in the snow is, without any trace of doubt, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The Charles bridge is fit for a marriage proposal.

More than 20 years after the fall of communism and the Velvet Revolution, the popularity of Prague (Praha in Czech) as one of Europe’s top tourist destinations shows no signs of slowing down. This can be overwhelming at times, but just relax and have a couple of Bohemia’s finest beers, and explore the city past the maddening tourist traps.  While the city center boasts heaps of stunning architecture, beyond the cobble-stoned alleys of the Old Town and the Castle District there’s an entire other cosmopolitan city to explore. “Czech” out the riverside parks, lively bars and beer gardens, night clubs, museums, and art galleries. When you’ve “Czeched” Prague of your list, take the short train ride to neighboring to Hungary.

Budapest, Hungary

Your journey ends in Budapest. Budapest is split down the middle by the Danube River, and the city is consequently divided into two parts; Buda and Pest. The city has dozens of parks full of attractions, and tons of museums filled with Hungarian treasures. Pleasure boats often sailing up and down the Danube, and Turkish-era thermal baths are everywhere. The Hungarian capital is awesome both by day and by night. The food and wine are excellent, cheap, and in abundance. The nightlife is outrageous. Budapest is known international for it’s goulash, which is a soup-type dish filled with paprika, and is also known for it’s pornography industry.

Budapest does have it’s battle scars, of course. Organized crime, pollution, and prostitution is visible all over the city. However, look past this and take a walk along the Duna korzó, the riverside embankment on the Pest side, or across any of the Danube bridges. It’s then that you’ll feel the romance that, despite all attempts from both inside and out to destroy it, has never died.

If you have a strong European heritage, it is likely that at some point on this trip you’ve visited your “homeland”. Mine is Hungary. I think no backpacking trip is complete without at least one evening of drinking an entire bottle of booze and contemplating your heritage in some Eastern Europe alley-way.

Get on an airplane and fly home.

Let’s Be Totally Clear.

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What if you had to work in a smoke filled bar every day?

Working in environments filled with secondhand smoke is widely known to be a cause of health problems such as lung cancer.  In 2007, The Louisiana Smoke-Free Air Act was passed, which prohibits smoking in most public places and workplaces, including all restaurants with or without attached bars. However, smoking in bars and casinos is still legal. Let’s Be Totally Clear is an offshoot of the Louisiana Campaign for Tobacco Free Living. The aim of this particular branch of the campaign is to eliminate smoking in bars and music venues, to help benefit the bartenders and musicians of Louisiana who work in these places every day.

Working in a casino or bar may be hazardous to your health.

At Letsbetotallyclear.org, musicians and other professionals share their reasons for wanting to work in a smoke free environment. As musician David Egan says, “A banker wouldn’t have to sit in a smoke-filled room for all of their working hours and we work just as much as they do. Why should we have to breathe that?” This is a valid argument, and one that people probably don’t think about unless they know someone who is affected by secondhand smoke in their workplace.

To find out more about the campaign for tobacco free living and what you can do to help, visit www.tobaccofreeliving.org or www.letsbetotallyclear.org

Second Base

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Airport Security gets hands-on.
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If you’ve been on a plane or watched the news recently, you’ve probably heard that security at airports is getting a little personal. With the advent of “Advanced Imaging Technology”, (or “naked body scanners”, as they are affectionately known amongst irate frequent fliers) people you’ve never seen are getting a very private look at your unmentionables. The TSA seems shocked at the idea that people don’t like this technology. It is interesting to note that most of the body scanners are made by a rather unfortunately named company called Rapiscan Systems, which is a company that is a client of the Chertoff Group Security firm. For those who aren’t total news junkies, Michael Chertoff is the former Secretary of Homeland Security, and advocated heavily for the use of body scanners while in office.

The alternative to the body scanner, if you should refuse to go through it, is to have a rather invasive pat-down of your body. If you’ve had a pat down before, brace yourself, because there are new procedures. As detailed by Jeffery Goldberg in his series of articles in The Atlantic, they leave few areas of your body untouched. Feeling up thighs until they meet “resistance” and using the palms of hands to feel around and in between body parts sounds less like a pat down and more likesomethign that should only be done between two consenting adults. Such an invasive search cannot be any fun for the TSA employees to perform either, and I am sure that they are berated daily by angry travelers for simply doing their jobs.

We're from the Government, and we're here to help.

How far is too far?

Though I have not received one of the new pat downs from the TSA, I have previously been swabbed for drugs, “wanded”, put into a bomb sniffing machine, and been “selected for extra screening” under the old pat-down regulations. I have also been patted down in the Dublin airport, where apparently the underwire in my bra set off the metal detector. An incredibly cheerful female Dublin security officer around 65 came over and proceeded to inspect me. If the woman hadn’t had such a disarming manner and an Irish accent I would have been absolutely outraged. However, the situation was so absurd I couldn’t do anything but stand there, bewildered, while an Irish grandmother got to second base with me in front of an entire airport.

The new TSA pat downs sound twice as embarrassing but with half the comedic potential. Suffering the indignities of airport security has made us desensitized to how invasive they really are. These procedures tell travelers that they are essentially guilty until proven innocent. This approach is not only offensive to passengers, who are essentially paying to be treated like suspects, it is more than likely a breach of both the 4th and 14th constitutional amendments. The former refers to protection from unreasonable search and seizure and the need for probable cause to search a subject and his belongings, and Clause 1 of the latter concerns the right to due process. Constitutionality aside, there has to be a more proactive method of ensuring the safety of our air travel system while protecting the dignity of passengers.

Defense contractor STRATFOR puts the TSA’s approach to Airport security this way: “the response of aviation security authorities to threats has often been slow and reactive rather than thoughtful and proactive.” (Their website has a very in-depth article on the subject of airport security here). In a world where internet advertisers like Google can track your every online move, the government can tap phones without a warrant, and anyone’s identity can be stolen fairly easily, it is absurd to think that there isn’t a way for passengers to be checked out before they even arrive at the airport.

Perhaps in the future there will be a less humiliating way for people to fly safely, but for now it looks like that future is a long way off.

What to Watch When You’re Miserable

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Movies to help you survive flu season.

Because offices and college campuses seem to turn into a veritable Petri dish of disease previously unknown to modern science every winter, it’s best to have a shelf full of DVDs, just in case the flu strikes you unprepared.  This list is a compilation of some of my favorites and the suggestions of friends and family with the aim that there would be something for everyone to enjoy.

Marie Antoinette

"This, Madame, is Versailles."

Like a petit four at a high tea, Marie Antoinette is a brightly colored and beautifully crafted guilty pleasure. Though Sofia Coppola’s sophomore effort is by no means a great film, you’ll probably be on so much Sudafed that you won’t notice anything except the pretty colors and arguably effective anachronistic soundtrack. Marie Antoinette never tries to delve deep into the psychology of the ill fated queen, it just gives the viewer what she wants; a consume drama that’s all costume. Gorgeous, Oscar winning costume in the candy colored world of Versailles. For the record, the film was shot on location and makes excellent use out of the opportunity. If you never get the chance to visit Versailles, this is the next best thing. If you do get a chance, you can go see Marie’s little French country village that is prominently featured in the film, which looks just as it does in the movie and is populated by very happy farm animals to this day.  The DVD features an amusing parody episode of Mtv’s Cribs, with Jason Schwartzman as King Louis XVI, if you’re into that sort of thing.


The Big Lebowski


"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."

I will admit, the First time I saw the Coen brother’s beloved cult film I was not taken with it. In repeat viewings I discovered the reason: I had been watching it on TV. Though the heavily edited TV cut of the film is enjoyable for devotees for its memorable swear-word substitutions (This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!), any cuts that reduce the running time make it impossible to understand the already nebulous plot of Lebowski. If you’ve never seen the film, do yourself the favor of renting or purchasing the DVD. The plot is secondary to the dialogue however, which is endlessly quotable. I have seen this movie enough times that I have almost every line memorized, and somehow am still not tired of it.

When Harry Met Sally


"It's amazing. You look like a normal person but actually you are the angel of death."

If all romantic comedies were as good as this, Meg Ryan would still have a career. The dialogue is stellar, and the old couples recounting how they met is adorable without being treacle-ey. The film also asks the question “can men and women ever truly be friends or will sex get in the way?”. We already know the answer, of course, but this doesn’t make the film less enjoyable. It’s the dialogue that safes it from being trite or forced, and the characters and their neuroses are fully formed and relatable. Neither Ryan nor Crystal are particularly attractive, and that’s what sells the film: it could actually happen.

Mommy Dearest


No wire hangers, ever!

"Tina! Bring me the axe!"

If you haven’t seen Mommy Dearest, you are either going to laugh so hard you cry or you’ll be scarred for life. Though I’m planted firmly in the former group, I can see why this camp classic would unnerve some people. Faye Dunaway’s career-killing turn as Joan Crawford is deeply unsettling at times, but if you haven’t got the sense of humor for such fare, you should watch it anyway for the cultural relevance. The film is referenced constantly in other media, especially the infamous “wire hanger” scene. If you’re a fan of camp, Mommy Dearest is required viewing.

Ferris Beuller’s Day Off


Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?

The ultimate escape film, Ferris Beuller takes us on nostalgia trip for a time and place that never really existed, and shows us things that we always wanted to do but were too afraid to. The dialogue and characters in the film are spot on, and arguably the funniest part in the film is the monologue that Mr. Rooney’s secretary delivers about all the different cliques in the school. Jennifer Grey’s turn as the put upon older sister is inspired, and the rest of the cast is similarly pitch-perfect. It’s hard to imagine that anyone hasn’t seen this movie already, but if that’s the case it should be the first on your list.

Up


Adventure is out there!

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll name your next pet Kevin, regardless of gender. Up is, for me, the greatest effort that Pixar has yet graced us with. The place that the characters inhabit is immensely cheering in sickness. I for one want to live in a world where people pilot houses as well as giant dirigibles full of talking dogs. The characters are well thought out and acted, the colors are cheery, and the film ends on a happy note that manages avoid saccharine sentimentality.

Step Brothers


"I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!"

Family Togetherness.

Step Brothers is probably the stupidest thing I have ever watched, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need in a film. John C. Riley and Will Ferrell are at their man-child best, and they run wild within the frame of the movie by doing and saying the most vulgar things imaginable. The brothers say things so absurd that you’ll have to force them awkwardly into conversations later, but it will be so worth it. And the “Boats and Hoes” rap   makes me laugh so hard I cry. Ferrell has sort of worn out his welcome with me lately, but there’s something perfect about how completely over the top this is that prevents his “scream funny things loudly” shtick from being stale. Step Brothers is probably not for everyone, but if you want to indulge your inner 13 year old boy, this movie is for you.

The Columns: Pay for the Atmosphere, not the Food.

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This past weekend, I ate lunch at the Columns Hotel on St. Charles. I had never been to The Columns but I have always heard good things, so my three friends and I decided to try it out. Most of the clientele were much older than my friends and I, but there were still enough 20 something’s scattered across the dining area so that we did not look out of place. I usually do not go out to nice restaurants. Not only can I rarely afford them, but I also find that I am never really satisfied after a meal. I would like to say that a nice $50 cut of stake is the best thing in the world, but the fact of the matter is that I would rather just eat a burger or some pizza.

Our table overlooked St. Charles, which provided a scenic backdrop and pleasant atmosphere to the dining experience. As my party was seated we all ordered drinks, even though they seemed, to me, a bit overpriced. I am one who is usually happy with a beer, but since I am rarely at a place where specialty cocktails are served I decided to experiment. The first cocktail that I tried was the sazerac, a New Orleans original. A sazerac is a cocktail that is made with one cube of sugar, one and a half ounces of rye whiskey, three dashes of Peychaud’s Bitters, and one fourth of an ounce of absinthe. This mixture is then poured into a chilled glass and garnished with a lemon peel. It is said to be one the oldest cocktails in existence, predating the civil war, and it’s also the official cocktail of Louisiana. I found the sazerac to be a delightful, flavorful drink that was not overly sweet and had a smooth finish.

When our waitress returned for the second round of drinks I considered ordering a second sazerac, but then I thought I should order something else from this alcoholic apothecary. A brandy milk punch was the second cocktail that I ventured to try. This is a concoction of two parts brandy, one part whole milk, and a teaspoon of sugar. This is then poured into a glass with crushed ice and sprinkled with nutmeg.

The brandy milk punch did not wow me like the sazerac. It tasted much like I had expected, sort of like a booze milk shake. I am not claiming that it tasted bad or that there was any mistake made by the person mixing the drink. It just tasted like an inferior, less flavorful version of a White Russian, one of my favorite drinks. After the disappointment of the second cocktail, and after calculating that those two drinks had cost me a total of around $25, I decided to return to old, reliable beer for the rest of the evening.

Our painfully slow waitress, who later made us feel guilty by informing us that it was her first day, and that she was actually a friend of a friend of ours, finally came around to take our appetizer orders. We ordered crab cakes, gnocchi, and scallops to be shared amongst everyone at the table. I found the food to be much like that at most expensive restaurants; overpriced and unsatisfying. The crab cakes were awful, though I must admit that I am biased in this regard, having been born and raised on the eastern shore of Maryland in the middle of crab country. The cakes where packed with so much celery and filler that they looked more like a microwavable TV dinner for a vegetarian, than anything one would order at an upscale restaurant. The gnocchi, which I had never tried before, tasted fairly good but was far too rich to eat more than a few fork full’s. The scallops, which I had ordered and had held out the most hope for, were just as disappointing. They were undercooked and lacked flavor, I even sent them back to be cooked longer in what later proved to be a futile attempt to resuscitate the flavor.

After some time our waitress returned and asked if anyone would like an entrée. After my disappointment with the appetizers I was inclined to refuse, until something on the menu caught my eye. They offered a grilled cheese sandwich as an entrée. This simple dish seemed so alien amongst the others on the menu I read it again to make sure I was not mistaken. I was right however, a grilled cheese was, in fact, on the menu, they did try and fancy it up by calling it a croque monsieur, but I know a grilled cheese when I see one and immediately ordered one.

I found the grilled cheese to be such a delightful anomaly when compared to the other entrees on the menu. Seeing it nestled between foie gras and filet mignon gave me a feeling of profound nostalgia, reminding me of my childhood when I would eat a grilled cheese almost everyday.

My meal at The Columns was, overall, a disappointment. I would only recommend it as a place to get some drinks, or a ten-dollar grilled cheese. As for the rest of the food, I would not bother. The Columns did not improve my attitude towards upscale restaurants. Next time I am going to stay home and make a grilled cheese.

Music Lessions from a Real New Orleans Musician

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Whether it is a childhood fantasy or a life long dream, everyone, at some point in their life, has wanted to be a rock star. While there is no guaranteed way to become a rock super star, musician David Putnam’s new website, neworleansmusiclessons.com, will give you the skills you need to sell out Madison square, or at least impress your friends with a little guitar playing.

David Putnam has been teaching and performing guitar in New Orleans for over a decade. He received his BFA in jazz studies from UNO university where he studied under the guidance of guitar greats such as Hank Mackie, Brian Seeger, and Steve Masakowski. He is currently the guitarist for the soul band Eudora and Deep Soul, he also plays many solo performances as well as sitting in with other bands on occasion.

Putnam has mastered the art of guitar, and like all masters, he has a passion for teaching his art to other people. With his new website neworleansmusiclessons.com he is now able to do this in a new and exciting way. The site gives his rates for lessons, video’s of Putnam’s performances, and offers instructional DVD’s, made by Putnam, for sale.

This all may seem fairly standard for a guitar teacher’s website, but what sets neworleansmusiclessons.com apart from the rest, is that he is now offering virtual guitar lessons online. The virtual guitar lesson is conducted in the same manner as a normal lesson, accept it is done over the Internet via video chat. This means that even if you live in Wisconsin, you can still learn from one of New Orleans’ most accomplished guitarists.

So whether you dream of one day becoming a rock star or you just want to be able play a few Led Zeppelin riffs, check out neworleansmusiclessons.com.

Printing Shirts That Say: I’m Not with Stupid

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Since 1987, Diversified Specialty Printing has been fulfilling all of New Orleans printing needs.  Recently moved to 5615 Crawford St. from its Mid-City location on Conti St, they can do anything from posters to t-shirts.  Screen-printing on t-shirts is in high demand these days, as everyone seems to want to start a t-shirt company.

In New Orleans, if you come up with a clever way to put “Who Dat” into a sentence, you’re sure to make some money selling those shirts this season on game day, and if you can think of some clever pun for a player’s name, even more money will come rolling in.  Don’t forget to plaster “Geaux whoever” on all your possessions.

Got an event or party you want to have t-shirts, glasses, posters or any custom printed gear?  Diversified Specialty printing can get it done for you.  Maybe you lost your favorite band’s shirt, or your kickball team needs some uniforms.  Just in time for the holidays you can get something special and original for everyone on your list.

There are now screen-printing machines like the Yudu that are sold through infomercials.  With these you can screen print things at home, but the accessories, extra ink, and supplies can add up and let’s face it you’re not a professional.  It’s best to leave it to the good people at Diversified Specialty Screen Printing.  To contact, call 504 – 482 – 2303, or visit their new Crawford St. Location.

Diversified Specialty Printing
New Orleans LA.70123
504 482 2303